


As Lovers Go

by jprongs



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst and Humor, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Marauders' Era, Minor Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-24
Updated: 2016-06-30
Packaged: 2018-07-17 22:27:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7288540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jprongs/pseuds/jprongs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for Jily Trope Fest.</p><p>When Lily Evans asked him to fake date her, he didn't expect anything more than a good laugh and an open bar.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Lies and Promises

As usual, Sirius had to muck it all up. Instead of singing ‘he gets it down in eight’, the arse bandit just _had_ to sing ‘he can’t masterbate’. Naturally, this caused some raised eyebrows and much scoffing from the incredulous patrons of the fine establishment they were sat in. So James Fleamont Potter was clicking the toes of his shoes against the rod at the bottom of his bar stool while giving his best mates their own looks of shame - except for Remus, the boy was a fucking dark horse.

On the other hand, Peter looked like he was going to be sick. It was only partially James’ fault, honestly. He hadn’t forced the pints down his throat - only coaxed and there was a bit of mild mockery whenever Peter said he was done. Tomorrow would definitely be one of those mornings that the once stout little boy would whinge that he was ‘never drinking again’. Bollocks. He’d be right back on this very barstool next Friday and Saturday if James had to put him there himself. Peer pressure was real and it was a thing, but it wasn’t like he’d put a wand to his head or anything.

“Prongs, I can’t do it.”

“Down it.”

Remus sat his empty on the keep’s end of the bar and tapped it against the drip mat for another. “Pete, just finish the last gulp. You know he isn’t going to let it go otherwise.”

James winked over at him. “You oughta listen to Remus, here. He’s got a good head on ‘is shoulders.”

Sirius coughed, trying not to laugh. “Gives good h-”

Remus shoved his elbow into Sirius’ ribs with enough force that he sprayed beer across the wooden bartop.

Rosemerta slapped her rag in front of him against the edge of the tap. “Sirius Black! One of these days I’m going to pull you out of here by yours ears until you come back with some bloody manners!” She wiped up the beer from in front of them, glaring at him with an intensity that made them all adjust themselves in their seats. “Raised by bleedin’ wolves, I tell ya!”

James and Remus were doubling over onto each other’s shoulders, trying not to cause any more of a scene, but it was just too hysterical. Typical, even. Remus Lupin just had a face that you couldn’t blame. It made him perfect for getting out of sticky situations and even better for scapegoating Sirius for the most tedious of tasks.

By this point, Sirius had grabbed the rag himself, mumbling out various insults to all three of them. Peter sat his finally empty pint glass down on the bar and stood, wobbling his way towards the toilets.

The night had all the markings of the perfect Friday evening in Hogsmeade until:

“POTTER!”

Suddenly he was scrambling to find a grip on the edge of anything and Remus was no help as he was laughing even harder now and he’d scorned Sirius, so there was no rescue there. If the scene had been in slow motion, he would’ve had a very deep and underwater voice yelling ‘you bastards’ as he toppled right off of his bar stool. On the plus side, he’d saved most of his pint.

“Potter, I need a word.” Lily Evans was stood over him where he lie fallen on the floor, clutching the half full glass like it was a fucking golden egg. “ _Now_.”

With a wink and a smirk, he propped his head up with his palm and leaned on his elbow. “Sure, come on down and step into my office, Ging.” James even crossed his ankles like something off the cover of Witch Weekly and he knew she would seethe at every single movement while secretly guarding her loins - because who wouldn’t?

“Get up.” She rolled those emeralds like a slot machine and shook her head. “I need a favour.”

James raised a brow, now very intrigued. “From me?”

“No, from the giant squid, but I heard you had a way with her.”

“We’ll, I do, but-”

Lily grabbed his arm and pulled him up to his feet without any regard of how his hair might look after the sudden movement - so, naturally, his hand immediately went to his hair and she swatted it away annoyed. “Outside. Now.”

“Alright, then.” He winked back to the other two and ignored the fact that they were truly struggling not to die from holding in the influx of giggling they would no doubt begin as soon as he finished his pint and stepped out onto the high street.

With a firm grip on his wrist, she pulled him through the pub and out the large double doors, but she didn’t stop there. Lily kept dragging him until they had successfully weaved their way through the crowds and buildings and right to the edge of the fence that separated the Shrieking Shack from Hogsmeade. James had a mild panic that she was going to have figured out their furry little secret and then Remus would be in more hot water than he could charm his way out of.

To shake those thoughts off, he pulled his baccy out of the pocket of his robes and began rolling a cigarette. That pretty much solved anything in his knowledgeable opinion. “So, what’s this favour, then?”

Huffing, Lily pushed her hair over her shoulder and walked in a full circle all while staring down the lit end of his cigarette. “So, I may have made a minor fuck up and couldn’t talk myself out of it.”

James snorted.

“Don’t you start.” She pointed that typical, judgemental finger at him and then pouted.

Shaking his head, he backed up and held his cigarette hand out to block her while walking backwards towards the fence. “No. The last time you pouted like that it did not end well for me.”

“Are you talking about covering for me with Slughorn?”

He glared.

“I said I was sorry about that. Marlene needed me and it was a choice between asking you or asking Sirius.”

“When’s the last time you did me a favour?”

“Three days ago. I told McGonagall that you were with me in the library where you were _supposed_ to be when I know for a fact that you’d been setting up one of your pranks.”

Chuckling, James smiled and nodded. “Fair point.”

“So?”

“Alright then, what is it? I’m a busy lad and I’m very in-demand.”

“You’re really not.”

“Shut it, Evans.”

“So, my sister got engaged to this truly awful bloke, Vernon.”

“I am not wooing her. You told me she looked like a horse.”

She shoved his arm and glared at him when he starting laughing, trying not to laugh herself. “That’s not what this was about! Over the summer she kept going on about him and how great he was when really, he’s the type that’s going to grow up to look like a walrus smoking cigars and talking about how great of a businessman he is or something.”

“That’s both actually and visually boring, but go on.”

“And she commented that I was too much of a freak for anyone to actually marry me.”

He stood up tall, immediately defensive over her for absolutely no reason because he’d never met her sister nor her sister’s future walrus.

“So I told her that I was seeing someone.”

“Who?”

“Let me finish!”

“Alright, alright.” James finished his cigarette and flicked it over the fence.

“Well, I’ve been keeping that lie up in my letters back home and, well, bragging. And now I’m expected to bring this imaginary perfect boyfriend home for the bloody engagement party over Christmas hols.”

“Wait a sec, are you trying to-”

“James Potter, shut the fuck up and let me finish.”

“Well, spit it out already!”

“It started out harmless, but then they started asking specifics and I wanted to one up Petunia, my sister. So, I may have said that this boyfriend of mine was top of the class - just below me of course - and that he was both Quidditch Captain and Head Boy.”

James was both confused and a bit intrigued at this point. “So,” he laughed, “you told her you were dating _me_.”

“No,” Lily said, biting her lip. “I just happened to say a few things to describe you.” She apparently didn’t appreciate the fact that he found this hilarious. “So, I need you to come with me to her engagement party, otherwise they’ll all know I was lying.”

James was still cracking up. “You want me to go to your sister’s engagement party with you - as your _fake_ boyfriend - and play that we’ve been dating since before last term ended?”

“Yes.”

This was too much. He put his hands on his knees, trying to steady himself and catch his breath.

“Potter, can you be serious for one minute?”

“Sirius would be rolling on the floor by now.”

She groaned and pushed him over into the grass, not finding it nearly as funny as he did. “You four are insufferable!”

“What’s in it for me, Evans?”

“You can pretend you’re actually as amazing as you seem to think you are.”

He leaned back on his knuckles and crossed his ankles out in front of him. “I am amazing.”

“You’re really not.”

“That hurts!” He gripped his robes overtop of his heart. “How will I ever get over you once you leave me for someone better, most likely McKinnon?”

The phrase ‘fiery redhead’ was invented after Merriam Webster met Lily Evans and James Potter would swear to it. “Potter, you are getting on my last nerve.”

“Evans, that last nerve must be pretty fucking strong because you’ve been telling me that since fourth year. I’d say I’m safe.” He winked up at her.

Giving up, Lily sat down next to him. “It’s getting dangerously close to breaking.” Shaking her head, she shoved him once more so he fell on his side. “Does that mean you’ll do it?”

James smirked, not actually having to think about whether or not he would. He just enjoyed getting her all riled up. “Well, Evans, I have one condition.”

“Oh, this will be rich.” She cocked a brow. “Go on then.”

When she smacked his arm again, he stopped and put on his best smoldering hunk face. “Just one thing. After all of this,” he paused for good measure, “you _can’t_ fall in love with me.”

This had her successfully riled up and her face went the colour of her hair. “You incessant irritating toad!” But, realizing that she had already dug herself in deep enough and was now invested, she collected herself and pulled his arm closer. “I’ll promise if you will.”

“Deal.”


	2. The Walrus and His Queen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James accompanies Lily to her sister's engagement party as her date and plays the role a bit too perfectly.

“Alright, Mum, Dad, Sirius, I’ll see you lot later!” James shouted as he was passing through the front room. Muggle shirt collars were as tight and hot as Merlin’s bollocks, and James had already magicked it a bit looser, but it was still bothering him, so he was pulling at it.

His mother stepped in front of him, a tea towel in one hand and her wand in the other. “Where do you think you’re going? And what in the bloody hell are you wearing?”

Giving her a smirk, he stood up, having a quick strut for a few steps before spinning on his heel. “I’m going on a fake date to a muggle engagement party.”

“Have a nice time, lad,” James’ father muttered from over his cuppa, obviously not actually paying attention.

Sirius, who was sat on the setty with crossed arms and a face like a smacked arse, was still brooding that he couldn’t come along as well. It took bribing him with doing his housework for the rest of the week and smuggling him cake to make the twat leave him be about it. He made sure to scoff loudly so that he was heard by all three.

“Fake date?” Euphemia Potter was typically a mild-mannered woman most days. Today was obviously not one of those days. James knew better than to give her the chance to lecture him.

Instead he kept walking, grabbed a muffin from the kitchen, and waved as he made his way out of the house.

“Fleamont, say something!”

All Fleamont Potter responded to his wife with was, “Something.”

Then there was a lot of squabbling about where James got his flippant mannerisms from and Sirius was in stitches over the whole matter before being told to de-gnome the garden.

Well pleased with the fact that he’d gotten out of throwing gnomes from the weed patch that his mother called a garden, James skipped his way out the door and then apparated to the place Lily had asked him to meet her. It was some fancy muggle home that belonged to her sister’s future in-laws, which in her letter Lily had called a variety of colourful names that he would slip into conversation later.

Before he could even check his reflection in the window, she was stomping one foot with arms crossed and looking suspiciously just like Sirius - just with red hair and a dress. He nearly laughed, but then she swung her tiny silver bag, which was entirely useless for actually holding anything necessary if you asked him, and whacked him in his arm.

“Oi, Evans! What was-”

Her eyes went wide like grassy saucers and he held up his hands in defeat.

“Potter. I told you half seven.”

“It’s seven thirty four.”

“You’re late.”

“Fashionably.” He winked, hooked his arm around her and walked her through the large double doors. “Now c’mon and let’s get in there so you can show me off.”

Planting her heels, Lily stopped him and turned James to face her. “Rules first.”

James threw his head back and then slumped his shoulders. “Really? Do fake boyfriends have rules?”

“When they’re you, absolutely.” Once she was sure he was paying attention, she narrowed her eyes. “You can’t surname me, or call me anything other than Lily or some other boyfriend-ish term. Also, you can’t talk about being a wizard. To anyone who doesn’t live in my house, we go to the same boarding school, are co-Heads and you’re a football captain.”

“Footie? Really? Can’t I be a rugby captain?”

“No.”

“We started dating last May and you’re madly head over heels for me. Our first date was to Madam Puddifoots-”

“Just gag me now. Can’t I be a mute?”

“Unfortunately not.” She shoved him harshly as he snickered to himself. “And do not instigate, intimidate, or otherwise influence any nonsense or shenanigans.”

“I would never.”

“I’ll believe that when my arse grows the size of the moon.” 

This time when she started to pull them towards the entrance, someone blocked their way. The man he was assuming was Mr. Evans, anyone would with eyes like that, beamed over at them and clapped a hand to Lily’s back.

“Ah, pet, there you are! We were starting to get worried that you were going to hide out all night!” He winked at James and then held a hand out. “You must be James! Blimey, we’ve heard loads about you.” Mr. Evans pushed his way in between the two of them, still shaking James’ hand. “We were starting to worry, honestly. Thought she might be more interested in Marlene-”

“Dad...” Lily covered her face, mortified.

“There wouldn’t be anything really wrong with that, but, well, your mother wants grandchildren and-”

“Dad!” She squeezed back between her father and James, red-faced and giving him the look that James had become far too accustomed with.

With a chuckle, he dropped James’ hand. “Ah, well! Pleasure meeting you.”

Swallowing, James was a bit in shock, but took it all in stride. “You as well, Mr. Evans.”

“Please, call me David!”

The rest of the introductions weren’t so spontaneous and embarrassing. Friends and family, aunts, uncles, and more. Lily was a spitting image of her mother it seemed, and James felt a bit strange being pulled into a hug and being kissed on the cheek by a woman who looked so similar. Even so, he managed and kept his charm. 

According to Lily, her sister and the walrus would be making their entrance at exactly eight o’clock sharp. Being as it was five minutes to, James snuck off to go to the bathroom. It did take him a minute to find it, though, as there were so many cupboards and closets just hanging about for no reason. With a sigh, he closed the bathroom door behind himself and ran a hand through his hair. All of this smiling and nodding was getting exhausting. What the fuck was he supposed to say? Lily told him to act muggle, so James just was staying quiet - which was damn difficult - and being overly polite. 

There was only one problem with his minute’s breather. The bathroom hadn’t actually been vacant.

With large blue eyes, curly blonde hair, and a scowl like  _ that _ , the girl was, without a doubt, most definitely Lily’s older sister. She was bracing herself against the vanity, and very obviously crying. The exasperated sobs pretty much gave that away. James would even admit that she was very pretty, but a bit too thin for his taste and too fragile. He could kind of see what Lily meant about her having a horse’s jaw as well.

“Who in the hell are  _ you _ ?”

Putting on his largest smile, James held a hand out. “I’m James, Lily’s boyfriend.” That last bit came out a bit too easily, he’d admit.

“Oh.” She narrowed her eyes, giving him a once over. “Get out!”

He started to back up and head for the door when there was a loud pounding from the other side.

“Petunia, darling, are you in there?” The voice from the other side called through. “We’ll be late for our grand entrance!”

Panicking, Petunia darted behind the door and looked at James helplessly. 

“Everyone’s waiting on us!” 

James took a wild guess to say that this was the famed walrus looking for his queen.

With a sigh, he looked at Petunia as she stood wide-eyed and near frozen in place. To be honest, if he were being wed to that voice, he might feel the same way. Lily owed him big time for this. James mouthed ‘do you want me to get rid of him?’

Hesitantly, Petunia nodded.

He coaxed her further behind the door before carefully opening it, hiding her behind it entirely. “Alright, mate?” he asked the red-faced man who could’ve only been a few years older, but just by the looks of him, he was the type who one might call ‘mature for his age’ only to be polite.

Vernon Dursley stood up taller and cleared his throat, his voice suddenly growing deeper. “Sorry, er, I was looking for my fiance.” He gave James a once over, trying to figure him out.

Cocking a brow, James shrugged. “Haven’t seen her. I just needed a slash, so… you mind?”

“Oh, well, yes, go on then.” He started to walk away, but then held up one of the large sausages he called a finger. “If you do happen to see her-”

“I’ll let her know the great sea king is asking for her. Got it.” Without waiting for a response, James shut the door and locked it. 

Petunia’s eyes, unlike Lily’s were like bright icicles and in complete shock as well as dripping with mascara from crying. It was obvious that she wasn’t used to a bit of humor in her life. 

Crossing his arms, he leaned on the vanity. “Alright, then, he’s gone. Shall I get Lily?”

“No!” She half shouted and flung herself across the bathroom door like he was going to pull her sister through the keyhole. “I can’t let her see me like this!”

Groaning, James reached in his pocket for the tin he had thankfully not forgotten. “Well, if we’re going to play this game, I need a fucking fag.” He slid past her and pushed the tiny window open.

“You’re going to smoke in  _ here _ ?”

“Yep.” He rolled a cigarette, lit it with his wand - which she was absolutely fixed on afterward - and then inhaled while he leaned his elbow out the window. “Alright, then, spill.”

Scoffing, she fumbled with the hem of her sleeves. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

James laughed softly. “You know, you and Lily aren’t  _ so _ different.”

“Excuse me?”

“You have the same death stare.” When she smiled a bit, James returned to his cigarette. “Well, there’s obviously a reason you were crying in the bathroom. And since you won’t let either of us leave-”

“I never-”

“You’re standing there holding the door closed with your arse, love,” James pointed out.

“Fair enough,” she said. He hadn’t expected the floodgates to open up, though. By the time he was nearly finished his cigarette, she was a total mess. Petunia had gone from bracing the door to leaning over the sink and crying.

When she paused, he cut in. “Stop and breathe.” James was exhausted just listening to her.

“I just don’t understand why every has to have an opinion on it! His mother and, oh god, his sister, Marge, is a terror.”

“Anyone with that name is.”

This made her smile again as she wiped under her eye with the back of her hand.

He flicked his cigarette somewhere into the back garden and then shut the window. James took a deep breath and put a hand on each of her shoulders. “Do you love him?”

“What?”

“You heard me. Do you love him?”

“Well, yeah.”

“Then shouldn’t that be all that matters?” Once she stood up taller, he felt a wave of relief. There had better be a bloody brilliant open bar somewhere downstairs in that parlor. If not, he was finding the Dursley’s personal stock of brandy. They seemed like the brandy type and he was going to drink the whole sodding lot of it. James pulled the handkerchief out of his jacket pocket and handed it to her. “Now, mop up your face, fix the weird curl thing you’ve got going on with your fringe and show these dry old bastards that you’re the best thing to ever happen to their family, yeah?”

 

By the time he got down the stairs, Lily was grabbing him by the arm. “Where the fuck have you  _ been _ ?” 

He gave her a shrug and a laugh. “Needed a fag.” Fuck’s sake, he hadn’t even gone for a wee. This was going to be a long night.

“You needed a fag? Here?”

“Wasn’t in your rules,  _ darling _ .”

“I hate you.”

“Nah, you don’t.”

Being the perfect fake boyfriend that he was, James put an arm around her just as someone announced Petunia and Vernon down the grand staircase. When he caught Petunia’s eye, he shot her a wink and it kind of felt good to know that he’d at least helped. He would have to tell his valiant tale to Remus, who would be extremely proud of him and probably take credit for rubbing off on him or some nonsense. 

The rest of the night had gone pretty swimmingly and most of the food was actually decent. He was hoping for some chips, but knew by the looks of the Dursley’s home that it wouldn’t have fit in. He also wouldn’t exactly call this a party. It was more like an engagement stand-around-and-talk-about-the-weather-ing because that’s about all they’d done. He couldn’t exactly tell anyone about his life, so they stuck to discussing the many forms of rain that the country had in the last few weeks.

Once they were ushered outside, James saw that there was a very small bar with a bored looking bartender who’s bowtie was way too tight. It was a large garden and he just hoped no one found his fag butt anywhere in the grass and started asking questions. Lily would definitely have his head for that. 

As soon as they got away from one of her aunties, James pulled Lily to the side. “So, how am I doing so far?”

Rolling her eyes, she actually gave him a genuine smirk. “Okay, I guess.”

“Okay?” He scoffed, acting offended. “I’m being bloody brilliant, I am.”

“I wouldn’t go that far, Potter.”

“It’s  _ James _ tonight, remember?” 

“Well,  _ James _ , if you want to be a really classy date, you’d go get us drinks.”

Now this was a challenge he could uphold. “Is that so?” He flipped his jacket collar, ruffled his hair and grinned.

“Jameson if they’ve got it.” She winked and patted his cheek.

“Oh, look at you, Ev- Lily! Kicking off with the whiskey.” James laughed, backing up and tutting her. “We’ll see how well you can handle your liquor.”

“A far lot better than you can.”

He bit his lip, enjoying their banter and turned towards the bar. When he got there, though, Mr. Evans - David - cut in front of him before he could get an elbow against the counter.

“Are you having a nice night, James?” he asked.

James nodded, a bit at a loss for what to actually say to his not-girlfriend’s father. “Brilliant time, thanks for having me.”

“Liar.”

Nearly choking, James looked up, laughing. “What do you mean, sir?”

“No one has fun at these bloody things.” He turned to the bored bartender, and then just like his daughter, said, “Two Jamesons, please, mate.”

When he handed one to James, he accepted it without a hint of surprise. “Are you not enjoying yourself?”

The older man shook his head. “Not in the slightest. I’m glad Tuney is happy, but this isn’t my idea of a good time. Us Evanses aren’t really from the same circle as the Dursleys.”

“I’ve gathered.”

“You seem like a nice lad, though. Lily speaks quite a bit about you.”

“Good things I hope,” James forced a chuckle. Why the fuck was he nervous?

“Oh, of course. Says you play Quidditch.”

“Tonight I play footie, apparently.”

“You any good?”

“I’m house captain, so I’d say I was at least alright.”

“She used to talk about trying out for the quidditch team, y’know? When she first went to Hogwarts.” Mr. Evans tapped his glass against James’ before taking a drink. 

“No…” James threw his head back in laughter. “Thanks for that. I’ll keep that one in mind when she’s being a pain in the arse about me having practice so much.” That part was truth. She really did have a go at him for convenient scheduling practice when he was supposed to have Head’s duties.

“My pleasure.” He beamed and looked over at Lily fondly. “Now go on and get her dancing. She’s actually quite good.”

“Will do, sir.” James finished his whiskey and then asked for two more before returning back to his favourite redhead with one in each hand. “Alright, Lils?”

“Ugh, don’t call me that.” She frowned and accepted her drink. “What were you talking with me dad about?”

“Quidditch.”

“...Quidditch?”

“He seems interesting. You should bring him to one of Gryffindor’s matches. I bet he’d love it.”

“I’m sure.” Lily rolled her eyes and then sipped at the glass. “I spoke to my sister, y’know.”

“Oh?” He tried his best to look in the dark about her sister until she shoved a maroon square back into his jacket pocket. “She told me what you did.”

“I smoked a fag in the Dursley’s toilet,” he said matter of factly.

“You listened to her. You were kind.”

“I was? I mean, she told you?”

“Yes, you git.” She closed a hand around his tie and gave him a sly smirk that was for some reason driving his inner fifth year absolutely mad. He’d long suppressed the desire to snog the socks off of his co-Head.  _ Bad Prongs. _ “Thanks, really.”

He might have to knock back the entire glass just to keep steady. “The walrus was getting to her, I think. Like you, sometimes she just needs a good vent.”

“Stop calling him that!” Lily slapped his arm playfully, but still laughed. “He’s my future brother in law.”

“Is the zoo alright with that?”

“ _ James. _ Stop it.” 

“Down that drink and dance with me,” James put a hand on her waist and pulled her into him. “I hear you’re a brilliant dancer.”

Up this close, he could see the freckles on her cheeks individually and smell the lavender in her shampoo. He also noted that her eyes weren’t completely green as they had flecks of something that someone much more articulate than himself would actually have noticed. Regardless she was still beautiful.  _ Down, boy. _

She broke his concentration when she finished off her Jameson and nudged his at him, which he obliged her with. “I am a brilliant dancer, but based off of your victory jives and other various antics, I know that you’ve got two left feet.”

“Cheeky. I’ll prove you wrong.”

He proved her right. Very, very right. So right in fact that she’d actually stopped him him mid-song and decided she was going to teach him how to dance. She had one hand on his shoulder and the other on his hip, laughing and forcing him to move to the music. Actually, James couldn’t recall ever seeing her laugh this much with her. That was most of the motivation for letting her make a twat out of him.

“Who ever would have thought there was something that James Potter wasn’t good at?” Lily asked after a few more songs.

“Hey, I’m not  _ that _ bad!”

“The scuff marks on my shoes say otherwise.”

“Oi, watch it, sweetheart.” He laughed and attempted to spin her, but only managed to nearly trip them both.

“How about you just let me lead?” she asked.

“Does that mean you’ll spin me?”

“No.” Lily grinned and shook her head. “You’re too bloody tall.”

When the music finally stopped, Lily sighed in relief and rested her head on his chest. James patted her back and that’s when he remembered that they were just faking it. If someone would have told him a year ago that he would be conspiring with Lily Evans, he would’ve laughed and probably hexed them. A lot had changed in the last year, though. Hell, James was looking into becoming an auror rather than play quidditch - the audacity.

“Earth to James…” Lily smirked, reaching up to ruffle his hair.

“Sorry, what?” 

“Everyone is leaving.” She rolled her eyes and fixed the lapel on his jacket, making him up to say goodbye.

“Oh, bollocks.” He looked around as everyone was grabbing their coats.

“Come on. I’ll walk you out to say goodbye and maybe I can get out of here too.”

As they walked around to the front where the guests were making quick small talk before getting in their cars, James wondered what she’d meant by getting out of here too.

“Ah, James!” David Evans approached them, seemingly glad to be rid of his future in-laws for a moment. 

“Just wanted to say goodnight and that it was a pleasure meeting you,” James said with as much politeness and taught propriety as he could muster.

“Pleasure was all mine! You’ll have to come ‘round before you’re back at school.” The man cupped his hand and then winked one of those typical dad-winks.

“We’ll talk quidditch.” James smiled and squeezed Lily’s shoulders just to be obnoxious.

“That’s a lad!” Mr. Evans looked absolutely thrilled and James could almost seeing the gears turning in his head as to all the questions he had.

“I’ll meet you at home, yeah?” Lily leaned up to give her father a kiss on the cheek before pushing James over towards a few more of the party guests. 

The whirlwind of remembering who was who was finally over when she grabbed his hand and pulled him to the edge of the pavement on the other side of the hedges. That was when he remembered that he probably wouldn’t be talking quidditch with Lily’s father because it was all fake and the plan was just for tonight. To be honest, he was finding himself a bit disappointed.

“Well, you’ve won my dad over.” Lily bit her lip and then stopped his hand as he was about to go for the tin in his pocket again. “Thanks for tonight. You definitely saved my arse.”

“Anytime, Evans.” He raised a brow and caught her hand. Wait - ‘anytime’ - was he actually inviting himself in for another round of this? Yes, yes he was. “Wasn’t so bad. Plus, it was nice to see you let a bit loose.”

“Yeah, that’s not me letting loose.”

“Guess you’ll have to show me.”

She rolled her eyes. “Go home, Potter. I’ll owl you in the morning.”

“Night, love.”  _ Fuck it.  _ He gave her a quick peck on the cheek, a bit too close to her lips. Then, with a wink, James apparated home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lengthy chapter, but I had a lot of fun writing it! Hopefully you enjoyed the bathroom interaction with James and Petunia as well as James being a horrible dancer.
> 
> As always, kudos and comments are golden! Thanks a ton for reading. x

**Author's Note:**

> So, that happened. I needed something a bit more light-hearted and I couldn't resist writing a fake relationship fic. This was initially supposed to be a quick one-shot, but I started having too much fun. Should be a few chapters, but we'll see how things go. 
> 
> Brownie points if you got the Dashboard reference in the title. It's my ultimate Jily song. ;)
> 
> Feel free to find me on tumblr: jprongsx


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